Wanna give me a hand here?

How do you break up with a woman who appears to be totally crazy about you? I'm pretty much ready to do it I think. As these things always end, it's sort of a matter of "I'd rather be alone than be with you," always a scary message to have to code and deliver to another person. She's away for the week, but she'll be back by Sunday and I'd like to do it very soon. Your suggestions as to how this should be accomplished are welcome.

The problem you see, lies in the narrative. I am (not was, am) infatuated with the blonde, something that is obvious to anyone seeing us together. We're that really annoying couple making out at the bar, on the street corner, movie theatre, barbeque and just about everywhere else it's possible to make a spectacle of one's self. We have sex that's spectacular, look good together and generally have fun around one another. But it's completely empty, sometimes cringe inducing and very expensive (which considering that I've been unemployed till very recently makes me question her sensitivity). Anyway it must end but that end is going to come as a surprise because there's been little in my behavior to indicate that it was coming.

They say, JUMP

One of these days, my need for thrills and kicks will get me into some real trouble. Till that day though, I'm glad that I occasionally pull from the edge of the abyss without prodding from anyone but my own resurfacing mind.

Loosies

Want to know what I'd sound like if I were female and living in my country rather than in NYC? Then you definitely need to read this blog. It's written in the more colloquial English we use in Nigeria, hence it incorpoates pidging Englisha and some Yoruba words. Maybe it won't translate, maybe it will but either way, I totally love it.

I'm now a bartender at a fine Latin New York restaurant. This is excellent as I've been so poor of late that I was almost rich (you know when you have so much in loans that it seems you must be a wealthy and productive member of society to be trusted with such levels of debt). Yesterday was my second full day and first one where I was totally in my groove, managing the customers and the millions of Mojitos I had to make with equal aplomb. I'm going to try to build my own customer base because the bar is the kind of place that allows for that. I'd tell you where it is, but then I'd never be able to bitch about it here again for fear of losing my job. And we don't want that. Poverty is definitely overrated.

The blonde is gone for a week, visiting friends and old haunts on the other coast. The other time a girl I was seeing went away, she came back only for us to break up. I wouldn't be entirely unhappy with that scenario, because I remain in my perpetual state of contemplating breaking up with the girl I'm with. I think I've really come to enjoy the chase too much and the companionship too little. Although I have missed human contact outside of work as I've ignored both the girl and my friends as I trained and worked for the past five nights in a row. Rosy Palms is a decent but uninspiring lover see.

I think of my sex life with the blonde and I realize I'm insane to even think of breaking up with her. I think about her idiosyncrasies and most of the time we spend together not in bed, and I realize I'm insane to be with this girl. Let's just say that the wrong head led me into this relationship thingy I'm in. Discussing the vagaries of the dating world with a customer at the bar who'd just come from a ho hum match.com date, I warned to get out if the first date didn't exactly rock his world. I've come to realize that I need to act on any reluctance to get involved with someone BEFORE we fall into that comfort zone that I find so easily. I get along too easily with women. Inevitably even though I'm not certain, I just go along on more and more dates; we start to have sex, she starts to get comfortable and then I realize that I definitely don't want to be with this person and start trying to figure out how to get out of things. I have recognized the cycle. Now I must break it.

Summer in NYC continues to rock. If you're anywhere else, you are missing one of the coolest things on the planet. There is so much going on all over the place. Free concerts in the park (Seu Jorge last week), barbeques on rooftops from Brooklyn to Harlem and the LES, free movies in the park and Coney Island for a diversion. Thank god I have a job now, cause I was spending money willy nilly at the post event drinks and going to every event cause I didn't have much else doing. You ask, what about that thesis I'm supposed to be writing. I'll look in on that and let you know if it's started writing itself while I've done everything else it's possible to spend one's hours on.