Alive and conflicted as ever
The girls in my life bring confusion. I'm in Lagos and things have got even more complicated than they previously were. I declined to bring my girlfriend of over a year here. I wasn't ready for the commitment that entailed. Nevertheless giving up the best relationship I ever had, especially when the ex was dead set on carrying on with it, whatever the challenges she had to surmount, was really not an easy thing at all. She didn't make it easy. But I was scared enough of what allowing her to come here would mean, to my ability to adjust to the environment, to my place in the social firmament and the business community, to my family and their expectations, that I stood my ground when last I saw her and made certain she understood that I intended to be alone for the next portion of my journey as an adult.
Of course, that was a lie. I've long since lost my ability to be alone. So here I am in Lagos, trying to date, trying to keep things light. I promised myself this would be a year of promiscuity and fun. I've dabbled in multiple flings but these things evolve as they will and I now once again find myself in a difficult position. One of my flings is threatening to become something more serious, something I'm of course not ready for. An older lady (what a surprise Flint!), she, like my ex, is far more ready to settle down than I am. She wants a relationship with the possibility of something real (read marriage, babies and full accoutrements) while I just want the hot sex and fun side of things. Knowing that we want different things, and having been completely honest about that, we ought to just walk away from one another. But of course, as we're good enough together that she's considering a real relationship, that's easier said and done.
My affectionate nature will be the death of me. If I were able to be a little less considerate of people's feelings and a lot less affectionate in my flings, I might have a decent chance at being a playboy of some sort. But combine my unreadiness to settle down with the ease with which girls feel comfortable around me and my easy affection for them, and you have Flint 2.009, serial heartbreaker. I do not like this.
Of course, that was a lie. I've long since lost my ability to be alone. So here I am in Lagos, trying to date, trying to keep things light. I promised myself this would be a year of promiscuity and fun. I've dabbled in multiple flings but these things evolve as they will and I now once again find myself in a difficult position. One of my flings is threatening to become something more serious, something I'm of course not ready for. An older lady (what a surprise Flint!), she, like my ex, is far more ready to settle down than I am. She wants a relationship with the possibility of something real (read marriage, babies and full accoutrements) while I just want the hot sex and fun side of things. Knowing that we want different things, and having been completely honest about that, we ought to just walk away from one another. But of course, as we're good enough together that she's considering a real relationship, that's easier said and done.
My affectionate nature will be the death of me. If I were able to be a little less considerate of people's feelings and a lot less affectionate in my flings, I might have a decent chance at being a playboy of some sort. But combine my unreadiness to settle down with the ease with which girls feel comfortable around me and my easy affection for them, and you have Flint 2.009, serial heartbreaker. I do not like this.
Labels: girls, heartbreakers, relationships
posted by Flint at 1:20 AM
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