Rambly post #1253 (of 49 total posts)

I find myself fascinated by so much. In my class discussions, I frequently find myself coming back to that phrase or others signifying an endless fascination with the world and all that it comprises. That this wonder rarely coalesces into concrete questions about these things sometime worry me. I rarely form complete ideas or thoughts about things, preferring instead to pitch in surrounding minds hasty constructs of the aspects of life that most befuddle or bedazzle me. I don't if this reluctance to form complete thoughts or push things to their logical or illogical conclusions is a good or a bad thing. Is it a sign of laziness, or simply the way my mind works best. It's always ben hard for me to determine how much I ought to rely on habits whose origins I'm uncertain of. Certainly, I tend to rely on my unconscious to do lots of work for me, and it rarely does fail me. Approaching a problem and finding it unyielding, I often retire and leave it to the little elves in the back of my head to pound the shoe leather and stitch the clothes together. I wake up in the morning and behold, a new suit of ideas for me iron the kinks out of and emerge in gloriously. Little posts like this serve much the same purpose, allowing me to play with ideas that bug me less self consciously and more spontaneously. Part of the reason for the infrequency of posts on here is that I rarely force myself to finish any of them that do not want to be finished. And rather than return to them, I frequently find myself rewriting from scratch the entire piece in one sitting. You must understand that I spy beside this window a first draft of a post called "Beef wellingtons and soft boiled eggs" that must now be discarded. This blog is for me an experiment in expression, in whatever form that may take. I get to try little stylistic tics, learn or attempt to learn the wonderful descriptiveness that brings life to some of my favorite blogger's tales, which I somehow never learned in my own education and figure out what sort of writing it is I would like to do.